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Evil overlord list3/17/2023 Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.Ħ5. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess’ cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.ĥ6. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.ĥ1. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.ĥ0. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.Ĥ3. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.Ĥ2. In the old days they made you look diabolic. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.ģ5. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementationĢ8. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.ġ2. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl throughĥ. If, like me, you strive to achieve excellency in any field you put your mind to, be it risk assessment and investment banking or complete world domination through evil masterplan, here are a few useful pointers to being an efficient and successful Evil Overlord, plucked from the canonical Evil Overlord Guide:Ģ.
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